Gary, Gary, Gary

Gary is easily my favorite regular. He is incredibly nice, always polite, works hard, and just does his thing. He came in a few days ago to tell me that he had talked to someone at a rescue mission in Kansas that said he could help him get his life back together and that he was going to be going. I was way stoked for him. He bought his Longhorn Wintergreen Longcut and his ice cream sandwich and went on his way. Came back the next day and had a doozy for me. He was hanging out in the park he was planning on sleeping on in Englewood and some drunkard sicked his Boxer on Gary. Gary always carries a tazer with him to protect his bike (I know, he's showed me), so he gave the guy a zap. Cops were called, drunky goes to the hospital. A day later, Gary comes in and tells me the guy died. Now, this is where I start to get suspicious, but either way I wouldn't be surprised. But according to ol' Gary, the police said it was completely justifiable. Gary the killer.