Caveman fashion sense.

This is a glove The Caveman gave me. He told me to wear it when I'm choking out nasty bitches. I'll leave it at that.

WE'RE BAAAAACK

So here we are again. I'm sorry for my absence. Things have honestly been pretty slow lately, but here are some of the highlights of the last month or so:

I almost sued my work. I was at work with a 103 degree fever and accidentally accepted a fake $100 bill. My boss was trying to bully me into paying it back IN CASH by the END OF THE PAY PERIOD. Naaaah. Dungeon and Dragon ass scum.

All of our fake weed got stolen. A couple cholo ass dudes came in and asked to look at the box, took a few jars out and then just grabbed the whole box and ran. I was outside and saw the whole thing through the window. Called the cops and he said we were fucked.

Baseball game kid found my girlfriend, myself and a couple friends at a restaurant. He had the waiter come say hi for him. It was super creepy. My coworked texted me last night saying apparently he got beat with some bats. I'll see what happened tonight. Hope the little guys ok.

I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting but it will be covered. WE'RE HERE TO STAY (until I find a better job).

Things have been pretty boring in the shop lately. Rockies kid isn't allowed in the store anymore because my co-worker caught him stealing. He still tries to come in and hang out every day and we have to tell him to leave. Blue (older homeless guy) still comes in almost every day. He's now living with his mom and talking to his ex-wife again and getting drunk with young black men.

My worry was quelled the other day when the Caveman finally came back in. It's good to know he's still alive. He came in wasted. I could smell his breath and get tipsy. Guy was hammered. Both me and my coworker were in the store at the time and he was giving us advice on women. He told us it was time for him to "chase some nasty women." and then he left. PEACE.

All advice welcome

These homeless people are starting to become pests. Tonight, they were there literally all night. The two from my previous post and the Caveman. They were all three drunk and sat outside by our shed for literally 6 hours. How do, in a polite way, tell these people they're not allowed here? I don't have the heart to toss out someone who has nowhere to go.

Here is a picture of, on the left, Rockies boy, and on the right, a new regular who has just gotten out of a year in jail. Today, they both seemed to not be able to leave the store. Rockies boy came in multiple times for well over an hour each time. There was a 2 hour period or so where they were both there.

The first time the older gentleman came in he talked to me for about an hour or so, spilling his guts about his ex wife, drug problems and what was going on in his life. He ended up crying a bit. It was a very endearing tale. While he was in jail, his wife got remarried. He told me about how him and his ex used to take in stray cats and then adopt them out. He went on a 30 minute rant about how his wife's new husband forgot to bring his favorite cat inside and a coyote killed it. He really has a lot of pain. He came in just to talk a few more times throughout the day. He also told me about how the night before, he had gone out and gotten drunk and had sex with some stripper. He woke up in someone elses house and she had made him breakfast and she got mad at him cuz he told her he didn't remember knocking the bottom out.

Rockies boy came in a few times as well. A few he was drunk, a few more he wasn't. The second to last time in, he came in and was talking about how he had a girl yell at him. I told them both they had to leave for a little bit so I could clean up the store and do my closing duties. The older man left for good, but the kid came back. He stuck his head in and said, "when you're done, I need to talk to you about something." I thought it was pretty weird, but I said OK. He came back an hour or so later. He talked for a while and I finally asked him what he needed to talk to me about. He just told me he didn't really have anything to talk about, he just wanted to talk. :'((((( As much as this kid annoys me, he really bums me out. I feel bad.

Memorable quote of the night: "I DON'T LISTEN TO BITCHES, BITCHES LISTEN TO ME, HO."

They're people, and they have no homes.

More exploits from Rockies game kid! My last day of work, he came in at least 3 times. The first, he seemed fairly coherent, just wanted a refill. Second time, he asked for some candy, which I bought for him. The third time, my girlfriend had just got off work and she brought our dog and came and saw me for a little bit. That's when this kid (I still don't know his name) came in. He was obviously drunk. First thing he did was come up to the counter and ask me if I knew what the purple thing on his nose was. I told him I had no idea and he looked really bummed. He then asked me for a cigarette, which I couldn't give him because I don't smoke. He sat and tried to get people to buy him a pack of cigarettes, which I told him he couldn't do every time he did it. He got someone to bum him one and he left, which I thought he was gone. Came back in after he was done and sat back on the cooler. He tried to get me to let him take home some of the porn mags, and now I'm just getting annoyed. He bummed a cigar and then left for good, but not before tripping over and knocking over the cooler full of ice and water, which spilled all over the floor. I spent the next 45 minutes trying to dry the floor. Little fuck.

I haven't seen Gary or Caveman for a number of days. I hope they're both OK. My best wishes.


DFTS, DFTS.

Picture-o-rama

This lady comes in once a week or so. Every time with the parrot. It screams like a human. Scariest sound I've ever heard.

This is our store defense. It's a martial arts weapon you use to disarm someone of a sword. If we ever get robbed at swordpoint, we're straight.


This is Pinch Yo Sack Pimp. Word.


This is Mo. Mo is the dog of a guy who comes in every once in a while. His van broke down and it was too hot for the pup to hang out in the van all day. He was there for 2 days straight. Best dog.

How do you pay for your cigars?

One of the kids from the shelter really, and I mean, REALLY likes Black Stones. I've never seen him not stoned out of his mind. He's awesome. He came in and had a bandage around his arm. He got his usual of 6 Cherry, 4 Vanilla, 2 Wine and pulled out a card, which is something new. It was a card from the plasma bank. I guess they don't give you a check anymore? But this kid loves his Stones so much he will LITERALLY sell his body for them. Get on his level, smokers.


Now, sad time. Kinda. There's another kid from the shelter that regularly comes in. He is always asking for something. The phone, the bathroom, money, etc. The first time I saw him he was coming in to ask if we were hiring, and if we hired people with felonies. This kid can't be older than 18. Bummer. The last time he came in, he used the bathroom, and then came back out with 2 tickets and asked me if I wanted to go the Rockies game with him that night. Legitimately bummed me out so bad to say no. All I could think about is how this kid has nobody else in his life that he can go to a baseball game with other than the weirdo that works at the gas station. I quickly stopped giving a fuck when he stuffed 2 packs of Junior Mints into his pants, but still. Ruined my day.

Gary, Gary, Gary

Gary is easily my favorite regular. He is incredibly nice, always polite, works hard, and just does his thing. He came in a few days ago to tell me that he had talked to someone at a rescue mission in Kansas that said he could help him get his life back together and that he was going to be going. I was way stoked for him. He bought his Longhorn Wintergreen Longcut and his ice cream sandwich and went on his way. Came back the next day and had a doozy for me. He was hanging out in the park he was planning on sleeping on in Englewood and some drunkard sicked his Boxer on Gary. Gary always carries a tazer with him to protect his bike (I know, he's showed me), so he gave the guy a zap. Cops were called, drunky goes to the hospital. A day later, Gary comes in and tells me the guy died. Now, this is where I start to get suspicious, but either way I wouldn't be surprised. But according to ol' Gary, the police said it was completely justifiable. Gary the killer.

Cavemen, meth scabs and the saga of Gary

In my last week, I worked all 7 nights, and got to know some people pretty well. We'll start off with The Caveman.

The Caveman is a short, stocky fellow with a long beard beard and long white hair. He's always completely wasted and really pissed off about something. The last encounter I had with him was when he came into the store trying to sell me corn. Apparently, him and some buddies got a crop of corn and were selling it for a few bucks a dozen. I told him politely I couldn't buy any, gave him a water and sent him on his way. He came back a little while later to tell me about on his way down the street, the owner of another local business threatened his life! Now, the Caveman won't stand for that. He served our country and took more bullets than 50 Cent. He continued to tell me about how he would have ripped the life out of this man, but he couldn't go back to jail. He then took another water, left and probably passed out somewhere.

Gary is another homeless man than comes in every day. He's incredibly nice and I feel bad for his situation. He's 60 years old and spends all day riding his bike around looking for places to sleep that he won't get hassled by the cops at. He spends the rest of his time LOOKING FOR JOBS. The other day he brought me in a stack of every application he had filled out/turned in. It must have been at least 60 places. He's a convicted felon so not many places will take him. He told me the story of how he fell asleep during his Starbucks interview. Good dude.

There's a young girl, 18 at most, that comes in every couple days to buy cigarettes and little snacks. She's covered from head to toe in scabs. She's always very polite, but mumbles so I can't understand a word she says. She came into my store, bought her things and then asked to go to the bathroom. I showed her where it was and went back to ringing people up. A little while passed and completely forgot she had come in. About an hour later, I went to go clean the bathroom before closing and found her dead asleep on the floor. It was honestly one of the saddest things I'd ever seen. I hated having to tell her she had to leave, but I couldn't let her zzzzz in the bathroom. People gotta poop.

As soon as told her to leave, a guy in his mid-20's ran in and stood in front of the counter. I asked him if I could help him with anything and he told me that the cops were chasing him and he just needed to stay here for a few minutes. No matter what I said he wouldn't go so I just let him stay for a little while. The whole time he was insisting that he didn't do anything, he just had warrants, but a cop wouldn't turn their car around when they see you for a warrant. YOU DONE FUCKED UP.

And so it begins...

Today is my second day here at the Silco. I created this blog to entertain and inform. You see things on a day to day basis here that I never thought I'd see. This blog his here to chronicle my experiences as a cashier at a gas station. In my 2 days I've already made friends with more homeless people than I'd ever like to admit. Things can only go downhill from here.


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Location:S Broadway,Denver,United States