Caveman fashion sense.

This is a glove The Caveman gave me. He told me to wear it when I'm choking out nasty bitches. I'll leave it at that.

WE'RE BAAAAACK

So here we are again. I'm sorry for my absence. Things have honestly been pretty slow lately, but here are some of the highlights of the last month or so:

I almost sued my work. I was at work with a 103 degree fever and accidentally accepted a fake $100 bill. My boss was trying to bully me into paying it back IN CASH by the END OF THE PAY PERIOD. Naaaah. Dungeon and Dragon ass scum.

All of our fake weed got stolen. A couple cholo ass dudes came in and asked to look at the box, took a few jars out and then just grabbed the whole box and ran. I was outside and saw the whole thing through the window. Called the cops and he said we were fucked.

Baseball game kid found my girlfriend, myself and a couple friends at a restaurant. He had the waiter come say hi for him. It was super creepy. My coworked texted me last night saying apparently he got beat with some bats. I'll see what happened tonight. Hope the little guys ok.

I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting but it will be covered. WE'RE HERE TO STAY (until I find a better job).

Things have been pretty boring in the shop lately. Rockies kid isn't allowed in the store anymore because my co-worker caught him stealing. He still tries to come in and hang out every day and we have to tell him to leave. Blue (older homeless guy) still comes in almost every day. He's now living with his mom and talking to his ex-wife again and getting drunk with young black men.

My worry was quelled the other day when the Caveman finally came back in. It's good to know he's still alive. He came in wasted. I could smell his breath and get tipsy. Guy was hammered. Both me and my coworker were in the store at the time and he was giving us advice on women. He told us it was time for him to "chase some nasty women." and then he left. PEACE.

All advice welcome

These homeless people are starting to become pests. Tonight, they were there literally all night. The two from my previous post and the Caveman. They were all three drunk and sat outside by our shed for literally 6 hours. How do, in a polite way, tell these people they're not allowed here? I don't have the heart to toss out someone who has nowhere to go.

Here is a picture of, on the left, Rockies boy, and on the right, a new regular who has just gotten out of a year in jail. Today, they both seemed to not be able to leave the store. Rockies boy came in multiple times for well over an hour each time. There was a 2 hour period or so where they were both there.

The first time the older gentleman came in he talked to me for about an hour or so, spilling his guts about his ex wife, drug problems and what was going on in his life. He ended up crying a bit. It was a very endearing tale. While he was in jail, his wife got remarried. He told me about how him and his ex used to take in stray cats and then adopt them out. He went on a 30 minute rant about how his wife's new husband forgot to bring his favorite cat inside and a coyote killed it. He really has a lot of pain. He came in just to talk a few more times throughout the day. He also told me about how the night before, he had gone out and gotten drunk and had sex with some stripper. He woke up in someone elses house and she had made him breakfast and she got mad at him cuz he told her he didn't remember knocking the bottom out.

Rockies boy came in a few times as well. A few he was drunk, a few more he wasn't. The second to last time in, he came in and was talking about how he had a girl yell at him. I told them both they had to leave for a little bit so I could clean up the store and do my closing duties. The older man left for good, but the kid came back. He stuck his head in and said, "when you're done, I need to talk to you about something." I thought it was pretty weird, but I said OK. He came back an hour or so later. He talked for a while and I finally asked him what he needed to talk to me about. He just told me he didn't really have anything to talk about, he just wanted to talk. :'((((( As much as this kid annoys me, he really bums me out. I feel bad.

Memorable quote of the night: "I DON'T LISTEN TO BITCHES, BITCHES LISTEN TO ME, HO."

They're people, and they have no homes.

More exploits from Rockies game kid! My last day of work, he came in at least 3 times. The first, he seemed fairly coherent, just wanted a refill. Second time, he asked for some candy, which I bought for him. The third time, my girlfriend had just got off work and she brought our dog and came and saw me for a little bit. That's when this kid (I still don't know his name) came in. He was obviously drunk. First thing he did was come up to the counter and ask me if I knew what the purple thing on his nose was. I told him I had no idea and he looked really bummed. He then asked me for a cigarette, which I couldn't give him because I don't smoke. He sat and tried to get people to buy him a pack of cigarettes, which I told him he couldn't do every time he did it. He got someone to bum him one and he left, which I thought he was gone. Came back in after he was done and sat back on the cooler. He tried to get me to let him take home some of the porn mags, and now I'm just getting annoyed. He bummed a cigar and then left for good, but not before tripping over and knocking over the cooler full of ice and water, which spilled all over the floor. I spent the next 45 minutes trying to dry the floor. Little fuck.

I haven't seen Gary or Caveman for a number of days. I hope they're both OK. My best wishes.


DFTS, DFTS.

Picture-o-rama

This lady comes in once a week or so. Every time with the parrot. It screams like a human. Scariest sound I've ever heard.

This is our store defense. It's a martial arts weapon you use to disarm someone of a sword. If we ever get robbed at swordpoint, we're straight.


This is Pinch Yo Sack Pimp. Word.


This is Mo. Mo is the dog of a guy who comes in every once in a while. His van broke down and it was too hot for the pup to hang out in the van all day. He was there for 2 days straight. Best dog.